I got lost.

I’m not exactly sure I can pinpoint where things started. Maybe it was in 2016, when I had emergency surgery to remove a brain tumor I didn’t know I had. Maybe it was in 2017, when my boss went on a sabbatical that prompted me to begin thinking about my professional future. Maybe it was in 2018, when my mom was diagnosed with renal cancer. Or maybe it was in 2019, when I decided it was time to leave my job, but with no idea of what I wanted to do next.

At any rate: as the calendar turned to 2020, I realized I had a year ahead of me – coincidentally and beautifully, a nice round marker of a year to talk about vision – where I had the chance to remake my life, to examine and ensure that I was living a life aligned with my values.

To figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

And so, I decided to embark on a quest: read books, got coaching, took assessments, prayed, meditated, went for walks, to search for the way forward. And as I started to head down this path, I discovered something interesting.

First, this process is beautiful. I wanted to lean into what I was doing. I had decided I had a year to figure this out, and I wanted to take my time. I have the privilege of investing this time and energy in making sure my life is focused on the things that matter most to me, and I didn’t want to squander it out of fear or external pressures. Since I was a teenager and read On Walden Pond, I have been consistently compelled by Thoreau’s exhortation to “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined.” I’ve always done that, but at this juncture in my life I came back to this question. At this stage of my life, what does it look like to live the life I’ve imagined?

Second, I wasn’t alone. It seemed like every other conversation I had with others revealed people (mostly but not exclusively women) asking themselves these same questions and struggling with the same concerns. And once I realized how common this experience is, I decided that it could be helpful for me and for others to document this publicly, and if possible, to create a community of folks who could explore these important questions together.

So here we are. A Values Driven Life was born in March 2020.

When I sat down at the beginning of the year to think about what 2020 would look like for me, I started by imagining what I could do with a year to reorient my life. I’m a very metrics-focused person, and so I decided I’d be best off if I could identify the areas that mattered most to me and come up with goals in a few key areas.

Health

After years of near-constant travel for work and becoming a new parent, my healthy habits had fallen apart. I wanted to end 2020 in much better physical shape than I started. This would involve:

• Walking or running 1000 miles
• Losing 30 pounds
• Learning self-defense skills – as a gal who’s not getting any younger, I am more aware of my vulnerability and want to make sure I have basic skills to take care of myself as needed.
• Drinking more water and less soda

Spirituality and Connection

As a Christian, I felt sure that God was giving me this opportunity to become a more faith-driven person, and I wanted to explore this and get better at it. I also was starting to feel like I knew lots of people but had no deep connections, and even my family ties were feeling a little frayed. That had to stop.

• Build a regular routine of prayer and meditation
• Use Sundays (Sabbath, in the Christian tradition) to connect with family and friends
• Get more involved in my community
• Raise a super amazing garden (I know it seems weird to list this here, but I’ll explore why this fits in this category in the blog)

Knowledge

I’ve always been a good student, but my life had gotten kind of narrow and I felt like I knew kind of a lot about a narrow range of things. What new fields could I learn more about? Could I finally read all those books stacked up on my bookshelf and in my Kindle and on my library wish list and…? So my goals here were:

• Read 3-4 books per month
• Take a class every month, either online or in person
• Learn more about the FIRE movement and get smarter and stronger financially

Cool skills

I just wanted to be kind of a badass, and felt like I was running out of time as I got older. I figured that with a year to dedicate myself to the idea, I could gain some new skills that would up my cool factor. So a few of the things I intend to learn are:

• Play the guitar
• Handle a weapon
• Change a tire (my dad made me learn how to do this when I was getting my driver’s license so this is just a refresher)
• Split wood
• Maybe raise some chickens? (I don’t know, this is a big commitment)

Work

Oh yeah, this. As the primary breadwinner for our family, I also had to figure out how to keep paying our bills once this year came to an end. But, this is also the place where my path forward is the least clear, so I intend to explore a few different avenues and find some ways to pay the bills in the meantime. Activities include:

• Doing some consulting, which involves building a website
• Writing more (here we are!)
• Building my networks, especially in Iowa where I live but haven’t worked for a while

The blog is roughly organized in these areas. I’ll be spending this year working on each of these areas, and will write about and explore them here. My question for you, dear reader (is it too presumptuous to say “dear readerS”?), is:

              What would you like to hear more about?
              Do you have recommendations or suggestions of things to explore?

What are the questions or decisions you are struggling with the most? Please feel free to leave comments or to send me an email. I look forward to hearing from you!